I realised I hadn't wrote a blog in a while, so much so I didn't even complete the minimum three a month in february, and instead only did a measly one. How pathetic.
So yeah, this isn't going to be well insightful, just an update in the life of Becky. Then again, an update in the life of Becky will most likely lead onto some soul searching!
It is now tuesday, and I got back on sunday from this huge christian youth event called the gathering in telford, hundreds of youth, one God, incredible. I've come away from the gathering not on one of those christian festival highs that lasts a few days then you get depressed by coming home when reality kicks in. Instead, the gatehring was very different. Its equipped me to be a revolutionary, it really does start the second we get home! I'm excited for change because Gods love has changed me. Gods love is the most present thing you could ever feel. If you dont have it, accept it. Its there for you to take, and without knowing it, we are aimless with no direction. As I've started to read my bible more and more, it screams out to me love. Its centred on love. I've never known the importance of love as I do now! Gods love actually is amazing, I've been singing it for so long but not feeling it to the extent God wanted me too, or living it. LIVE GODS LOVE!
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
YO, why you judgin?!
'Don't judge a book by it's cover
Don't make your mind up, too soon
Never ever ever ever, ever ever ever ever, ever judge a book by its cover!'
~Thomas the Tank Engine
This is only a short post due to my absolutley massive week, which I shall talk about in my next blog probably. Anyway, on Becky's heart this February month is Judgement. Recently, God has revealed to me people I never knew, who I had pretty bad perceptions of previously due to what people say, their attitudes in my observations of these people etc, as beautiful, joyous, brilliant people.
How easy is it, to make an opinion of someone you don't know? It's CRAZY. You will never know. You are not justified in knowing, because you don't. I didn't know people I thought badly of, how is this possible?! All of the things I have thought about some people is what I was myself. Obnoxious, snobby, critical, cocky, sour person. That was what I thought, and that is what I was. These people have been revealed to me as brilliant people, which pains me to say how wrong I was, I feel hurt for them from my thoughts.
Don't judge. You're only dooming yourself and limiting people. Those same people could may well have been our closest of friends if we didn't limit them with our dangerous and un justified thoughts.
Don't make your mind up, too soon
Never ever ever ever, ever ever ever ever, ever judge a book by its cover!'
~Thomas the Tank Engine
This is only a short post due to my absolutley massive week, which I shall talk about in my next blog probably. Anyway, on Becky's heart this February month is Judgement. Recently, God has revealed to me people I never knew, who I had pretty bad perceptions of previously due to what people say, their attitudes in my observations of these people etc, as beautiful, joyous, brilliant people.
How easy is it, to make an opinion of someone you don't know? It's CRAZY. You will never know. You are not justified in knowing, because you don't. I didn't know people I thought badly of, how is this possible?! All of the things I have thought about some people is what I was myself. Obnoxious, snobby, critical, cocky, sour person. That was what I thought, and that is what I was. These people have been revealed to me as brilliant people, which pains me to say how wrong I was, I feel hurt for them from my thoughts.
Don't judge. You're only dooming yourself and limiting people. Those same people could may well have been our closest of friends if we didn't limit them with our dangerous and un justified thoughts.
Monday, 31 January 2011
Changing Desires
I just sat on my bed, ready to open the Word of God (WOG) and get some daily bread in me. When I thought, and decided to write a blog first, as it often puts me in a mind frame of being worshipful of God, or deciphers out my own feelings so I can better know what I need from him!
And now that my second to final exam is done and dusted, what better excuse to click 'new post' and tell all of you beautiful people what has been whizzing around my head this time.
Turning 18 is a milestone, and it's kind of forced me to look back on my youth. University applications has also made me look into my past, to decide what I want to do in the future, what my desire has always been. And it made me think, how much what I thought were my 'desires' has changed.
Growing up, when I was asked 'What do you want to be when you grow up?', the fame hungry, self centred child that was me wanted to be either 'a singer, actress or T.V presenter'. Specifically in that order. I wanted to be married by the age of 22 with four children, two girls and two boys, (typical), one boy to be called Jeremiah, and one of the girls to be called Esther, the other Kaitlyn.
The 18 year old me hates the name Kaitlyn.
(sorry if anyone reading is called kaitlyn, or knows of someone with that name, I just used the word hate for effect, I'm just not that keen rather than hate)
So, at 18 years old, even though I know this is still very young and these opinions may later change in time of approach, I no longer want to be a world renown singer, with crazy fame and my own entourage of paparazzi and a tonne of money. I no longer want to be an actress. I do not share the same enthusiasm and drive for drama anymore.
I wouldn't mind to be wed early, but only in order to spend time with my husband before a family (if I ever get married of course). I no longer want to be a young hip mum, people describe giving birth later in life as a way of not missing out on the parties and drinking etc etc, I just want solely a marriage before family is all. I still want children, but no specifications to number, names or sex.
And as for the T.V presenter, I got one thing right when I was a kid, but who knows, in another five years I'll probably see that change too.
Anyway, this extremely long winded post is a way of saying, I'm glad God didn't give in to the demanding 'give me what I want when I want' attitude of the child with the blonde 'fro. If he had, I would have been pretty messed up. No, a lot messed up.
What I thought were my desires have completely changed, and they always do. This may be too my indecisive nature, but its bound to happen with age and finding who we are in Christ, walking closer along side the Lord everyday. Of course its gonna change, God shapes and moulds and squeezes us every day by his holy spirit, with a purpose for change!
As to not make this post any longer, God changes us, what we think we want changes, so don't be sad when you don't get what you want, because in hindsight you probably won't want it for yourself either. I know this is so simple, but when something so small such as not getting an offer for a particular university comes along, It becomes something I easily forget. Selfish selfish humans.
And now that my second to final exam is done and dusted, what better excuse to click 'new post' and tell all of you beautiful people what has been whizzing around my head this time.
Turning 18 is a milestone, and it's kind of forced me to look back on my youth. University applications has also made me look into my past, to decide what I want to do in the future, what my desire has always been. And it made me think, how much what I thought were my 'desires' has changed.
Growing up, when I was asked 'What do you want to be when you grow up?', the fame hungry, self centred child that was me wanted to be either 'a singer, actress or T.V presenter'. Specifically in that order. I wanted to be married by the age of 22 with four children, two girls and two boys, (typical), one boy to be called Jeremiah, and one of the girls to be called Esther, the other Kaitlyn.
The 18 year old me hates the name Kaitlyn.
(sorry if anyone reading is called kaitlyn, or knows of someone with that name, I just used the word hate for effect, I'm just not that keen rather than hate)
So, at 18 years old, even though I know this is still very young and these opinions may later change in time of approach, I no longer want to be a world renown singer, with crazy fame and my own entourage of paparazzi and a tonne of money. I no longer want to be an actress. I do not share the same enthusiasm and drive for drama anymore.
I wouldn't mind to be wed early, but only in order to spend time with my husband before a family (if I ever get married of course). I no longer want to be a young hip mum, people describe giving birth later in life as a way of not missing out on the parties and drinking etc etc, I just want solely a marriage before family is all. I still want children, but no specifications to number, names or sex.
And as for the T.V presenter, I got one thing right when I was a kid, but who knows, in another five years I'll probably see that change too.
Anyway, this extremely long winded post is a way of saying, I'm glad God didn't give in to the demanding 'give me what I want when I want' attitude of the child with the blonde 'fro. If he had, I would have been pretty messed up. No, a lot messed up.
What I thought were my desires have completely changed, and they always do. This may be too my indecisive nature, but its bound to happen with age and finding who we are in Christ, walking closer along side the Lord everyday. Of course its gonna change, God shapes and moulds and squeezes us every day by his holy spirit, with a purpose for change!
As to not make this post any longer, God changes us, what we think we want changes, so don't be sad when you don't get what you want, because in hindsight you probably won't want it for yourself either. I know this is so simple, but when something so small such as not getting an offer for a particular university comes along, It becomes something I easily forget. Selfish selfish humans.
Sunday, 16 January 2011
Can a hindrance ever become an abundance?
Some poetry of mine for ya'll
I'm not a poet, this is more of a rap, then again, rap is poetry, so I guess it is a poem!
However, imagine in a Dizzee Rascal style rather than Shakespeare!
Can a hindrance ever become an abundance?
Potential exists. Change exists. You exist.
An existance that is forever going round in my head
An existance that equals death.
A hindrance
what can that be?
Can we ever be?
Ever be free, to live, to co-exist
Can we ever retrace steps to a time
Where we could co incide
Not only inside my head, but yours too
I will never know if we will ever be
Untill the time where you don't exist
So prominantely
Every day I walk where you walked
Every day; memories and jokes and
things of me, discovered by you
Things you made me to be.
Neither positive or negativley
Just you and I, I and me
There will be a time, I have faith
in the other man I have made my home in
Hope to untie my soul from yours
It takes work and time
But we will co incide
As people, and not my hindrance.
I'm not a poet, this is more of a rap, then again, rap is poetry, so I guess it is a poem!
However, imagine in a Dizzee Rascal style rather than Shakespeare!
Can a hindrance ever become an abundance?
Potential exists. Change exists. You exist.
An existance that is forever going round in my head
An existance that equals death.
A hindrance
what can that be?
Can we ever be?
Ever be free, to live, to co-exist
Can we ever retrace steps to a time
Where we could co incide
Not only inside my head, but yours too
I will never know if we will ever be
Untill the time where you don't exist
So prominantely
Every day I walk where you walked
Every day; memories and jokes and
things of me, discovered by you
Things you made me to be.
Neither positive or negativley
Just you and I, I and me
There will be a time, I have faith
in the other man I have made my home in
Hope to untie my soul from yours
It takes work and time
But we will co incide
As people, and not my hindrance.
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Birthdays and General Studies
So, I figured I needed to complete a blog before moving from childhood to adulthood, turning the big 18.
For some reason, I feel like once thursday the thirteenth comes along this week, Becky Owens will have a whole different persona, that I probably will no longer be referred to as 'Bowens' or get away with being late to lessons, and everywhere else. I feel like Becky Owens will no longer exist, and Rebecca Owens will take her place for the rest of my life. Haha! I wonder if anybody else felt like this when turning 18? I'm both excited at the prospect of having no limits in life, and extremely scared of not having an excuse to act like a total idiot for the best part of every day. At the same time of being excited, I'm clinging on to my youth for dear life! Once I hit 18, it'll feel like a couple of days till I'm turning 30. AHHH!
Anyway, back to the main point of my post today. A brilliant preacher in my church, (probably one of the best I have ever heard) Frank, likes to use really swish videos that make an impact. Just from being at various different events of the same topic, I have seen one of his videos three times. Unfortunatley I can't find it, but I'm sure the onyl four people reading have seen it already, hahaha. (that was a joke at the lack of people who view my blog, HOWEVER, these are the people I care about, so it's ok). Anyway, the video displays loads of facts about the decline of youthin churches, and the shocking figures of what the youth of today turn to instead. Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Abuse. Four not brilliant words.
Today I had a general studies resit exam, and even though I have no need for general studies, and personally believe it is the most pointless thing known to education, maybe even mankind. Despite this, I was pretty glad I was made to resit this exam, as hopefully there will be a converted examiner in the UK, that would be brilliant indeed. I was also pretty glad, because like my blogs, it was a great realisation moment when I thought, wait, to this examiner, I'm a full on passionate evangelistic christian, but am I living that out?
The answer is, I certainly am not. You see, in this exam I used many of the facts that were on that video, that in the 1920's, for every 100 young people in the church, today we have 9. Another interesting fact, if every christian in the world brought one person to God every year, then that person brought somebody to God, it would only take 32 years for not only a comlete christian country, a complete Christian world! It's a TINY part to play. One person, brought to God, a year, would see a changed world.
So, this year, I'm making it my aim to bring at least one person to God. Have someone in mind, pray for them every day, and hopefully before 2012 they will know God personally and intimatley. After all, you might only have to do it once if the world actually does end in 2012! I'm not about praying for friends either, I pray for my friends, but I do not specifically pray for one person and concetrate on bringing them to places in which they can experience God for themselves. This is much more effective. And I think as Christians, this has to be our aim, otherwise, how can we ever really be living out the word? So make it your aim too, it's not too late to have a new new years resolution, we still have 11 months and 19 days left..
For some reason, I feel like once thursday the thirteenth comes along this week, Becky Owens will have a whole different persona, that I probably will no longer be referred to as 'Bowens' or get away with being late to lessons, and everywhere else. I feel like Becky Owens will no longer exist, and Rebecca Owens will take her place for the rest of my life. Haha! I wonder if anybody else felt like this when turning 18? I'm both excited at the prospect of having no limits in life, and extremely scared of not having an excuse to act like a total idiot for the best part of every day. At the same time of being excited, I'm clinging on to my youth for dear life! Once I hit 18, it'll feel like a couple of days till I'm turning 30. AHHH!
Anyway, back to the main point of my post today. A brilliant preacher in my church, (probably one of the best I have ever heard) Frank, likes to use really swish videos that make an impact. Just from being at various different events of the same topic, I have seen one of his videos three times. Unfortunatley I can't find it, but I'm sure the onyl four people reading have seen it already, hahaha. (that was a joke at the lack of people who view my blog, HOWEVER, these are the people I care about, so it's ok). Anyway, the video displays loads of facts about the decline of youthin churches, and the shocking figures of what the youth of today turn to instead. Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Abuse. Four not brilliant words.
Today I had a general studies resit exam, and even though I have no need for general studies, and personally believe it is the most pointless thing known to education, maybe even mankind. Despite this, I was pretty glad I was made to resit this exam, as hopefully there will be a converted examiner in the UK, that would be brilliant indeed. I was also pretty glad, because like my blogs, it was a great realisation moment when I thought, wait, to this examiner, I'm a full on passionate evangelistic christian, but am I living that out?
The answer is, I certainly am not. You see, in this exam I used many of the facts that were on that video, that in the 1920's, for every 100 young people in the church, today we have 9. Another interesting fact, if every christian in the world brought one person to God every year, then that person brought somebody to God, it would only take 32 years for not only a comlete christian country, a complete Christian world! It's a TINY part to play. One person, brought to God, a year, would see a changed world.
So, this year, I'm making it my aim to bring at least one person to God. Have someone in mind, pray for them every day, and hopefully before 2012 they will know God personally and intimatley. After all, you might only have to do it once if the world actually does end in 2012! I'm not about praying for friends either, I pray for my friends, but I do not specifically pray for one person and concetrate on bringing them to places in which they can experience God for themselves. This is much more effective. And I think as Christians, this has to be our aim, otherwise, how can we ever really be living out the word? So make it your aim too, it's not too late to have a new new years resolution, we still have 11 months and 19 days left..
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Insomnia
So it's 2011...
and unfortunatley staying up till 6 on New Years day has completely messed up my sleeping pattern, haven't had a decent sleep this year yet. So I decided to write a blog with the main things whirling around my head, rather than lay in bed playing on my new christmas toy: iPod touch. I love that cut the rope game.
So, i'm going to take a risk and go straight into the deepest thing that has affected my life recently, which I only discovered last night. I have been robbed of Joy.
I mean, i'm generally a happy person, and although things may be going alright and sailing on, I've lost joy, due to numerous reasons.
I've come to realise how important joy is. I've always taken it as just another fruit of the spirit, you know, they're just some nice extra things God gives us to make us nice people. I was wrong. They are so important in making us who we are designed to be, disciples and followers of the Lord. How can I live a life of love without love? How can I not argue with my family and friends without kindness? How can I not be angry and upset with what life throws at me without peace and patience? And how can I live a joyful life without Joy? I can't. So when the devil robs you of such things, it can be very hard to live a life worthy of God.
A deep joy in knowing God's intense and tangible love, a content being is a full life.
I'm eighteen in 10 days
I'm going to do a blog of 365 pictures of a year of being eighteen. Exciting, watch this space.
and unfortunatley staying up till 6 on New Years day has completely messed up my sleeping pattern, haven't had a decent sleep this year yet. So I decided to write a blog with the main things whirling around my head, rather than lay in bed playing on my new christmas toy: iPod touch. I love that cut the rope game.
So, i'm going to take a risk and go straight into the deepest thing that has affected my life recently, which I only discovered last night. I have been robbed of Joy.
I mean, i'm generally a happy person, and although things may be going alright and sailing on, I've lost joy, due to numerous reasons.
I've come to realise how important joy is. I've always taken it as just another fruit of the spirit, you know, they're just some nice extra things God gives us to make us nice people. I was wrong. They are so important in making us who we are designed to be, disciples and followers of the Lord. How can I live a life of love without love? How can I not argue with my family and friends without kindness? How can I not be angry and upset with what life throws at me without peace and patience? And how can I live a joyful life without Joy? I can't. So when the devil robs you of such things, it can be very hard to live a life worthy of God.
A deep joy in knowing God's intense and tangible love, a content being is a full life.
I'm eighteen in 10 days
I'm going to do a blog of 365 pictures of a year of being eighteen. Exciting, watch this space.
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Time
Time goes so quickly.
At the moment, life is so fast paced, that it's hard to have any vacancy.
I just get in my car with the destination being one of three places, college, work, or church. It's routine.
Today I came home and just lounged around, only getting up to move between the computer, television and the kitchen. It feels like I've been doing this for half an hour, but it's been three and a half hours. I can't believe how fast time is, every minute you have is borrowed by somebody else, it's just a complete rush, and I don't even remember how it was when I was in high school two years ago, when I spent my time being a teenage girl.
Giving out so much makes it evident to me how much I need God. How can I keep giving out with nothing to inspire me, motivate me, or restore me? I don't understand how non Christians handle it! It's crazy. When I go about life, with no fire, and no vacancy, which is easy to do, but also dead. A dead life. A walking corpse like the bible says. Going back to that way of living in the midst of business is scary, because it's so easy, an easy but exasperating, and plainly dead.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, we shouldn't think of God in terms of time. We can't say, 'I spent an hour with God today so that's me done', or ' I read my bible before so I'm done for today'. Lets not think of our relationship with God int erms of time, but in terms of life. I know for sure those three and a half hours have been wasted, down the gutter and drained through a gris. The same way in which they have drained me, because the energies I have put into it isn't giving me any benefit. Invest your time in something worth investing in, other wise how can there be vacancy? And how can we ever give more out? We need a balance, of recieving and giving. And the Beauty is that God never ever stops giving.
At the moment, life is so fast paced, that it's hard to have any vacancy.
I just get in my car with the destination being one of three places, college, work, or church. It's routine.
Today I came home and just lounged around, only getting up to move between the computer, television and the kitchen. It feels like I've been doing this for half an hour, but it's been three and a half hours. I can't believe how fast time is, every minute you have is borrowed by somebody else, it's just a complete rush, and I don't even remember how it was when I was in high school two years ago, when I spent my time being a teenage girl.
Giving out so much makes it evident to me how much I need God. How can I keep giving out with nothing to inspire me, motivate me, or restore me? I don't understand how non Christians handle it! It's crazy. When I go about life, with no fire, and no vacancy, which is easy to do, but also dead. A dead life. A walking corpse like the bible says. Going back to that way of living in the midst of business is scary, because it's so easy, an easy but exasperating, and plainly dead.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, we shouldn't think of God in terms of time. We can't say, 'I spent an hour with God today so that's me done', or ' I read my bible before so I'm done for today'. Lets not think of our relationship with God int erms of time, but in terms of life. I know for sure those three and a half hours have been wasted, down the gutter and drained through a gris. The same way in which they have drained me, because the energies I have put into it isn't giving me any benefit. Invest your time in something worth investing in, other wise how can there be vacancy? And how can we ever give more out? We need a balance, of recieving and giving. And the Beauty is that God never ever stops giving.
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