Changing Desires

I just sat on my bed, ready to open the Word of God (WOG) and get some daily bread in me. When I thought, and decided to write a blog first, as it often puts me in a mind frame of being worshipful of God, or deciphers out my own feelings so I can better know what I need from him!
And now that my second to final exam is done and dusted, what better excuse to click 'new post' and tell all of you beautiful people what has been whizzing around my head this time.

Turning 18 is a milestone, and it's kind of forced me to look back on my youth. University applications has also made me look into my past, to decide what I want to do in the future, what my desire has always been. And it made me think, how much what I thought were my 'desires' has changed.

Growing up, when I was asked 'What do you want to be when you grow up?', the fame hungry, self centred child that was me wanted to be either 'a singer, actress or T.V presenter'. Specifically in that order. I wanted to be married by the age of 22 with four children, two girls and two boys, (typical), one boy to be called Jeremiah, and one of the girls to be called Esther, the other Kaitlyn. 

The 18 year old me hates the name Kaitlyn.

(sorry if anyone reading is called kaitlyn, or knows of someone with that name, I just used the word hate for effect, I'm just not that keen rather than hate)

So, at 18 years old, even though I know this is still very young and these opinions may later change in time of approach, I no longer want to be a world renown singer, with crazy fame and my own entourage of paparazzi and a tonne of money. I no longer want to be an actress.  I do not share the same enthusiasm and drive for drama anymore.
I wouldn't mind to be wed early, but only in order to spend time with my husband before a family (if I ever get married of course). I no longer want to be a young hip mum, people describe giving birth later in life as a way of not missing out on the parties and drinking etc etc, I just want solely a marriage before family is all. I still want children, but no specifications to number, names or sex.
And as for the T.V presenter, I got one thing right when I was a kid, but who knows, in another five years I'll probably see that change too.

Anyway, this extremely long winded post is a way of saying, I'm glad God didn't give in to the demanding 'give me what I want when I want' attitude of the child with the blonde 'fro. If he had, I would have been pretty messed up. No, a lot messed up.

What I thought were my desires have completely changed, and they always do. This may be too my indecisive nature, but its bound to happen with age and finding who we are in Christ, walking closer along side the Lord everyday. Of course its gonna change, God shapes and moulds and squeezes us every day by his holy spirit, with a purpose for change!

As to not make this post any longer, God changes us, what we think we want changes, so don't be sad when you don't get what you want, because in hindsight you probably won't want it for yourself either. I know this is so simple, but when something so small such as not getting an offer for a particular university comes along, It becomes something I easily forget. Selfish selfish humans.